States of Grace: The Collected Mallard Papers

To All Members of the House of Mallard, let me begin at the beginning—though Heaven knows that’s the one place no one ever truly begins. The present volume, The Collected Mallard Papers, is but the first in a series of what my publisher, in a moment of thrilling under-estimation, called “a curious miscellany.”

Curious, yes—like an aunt who drinks brandy before Mass; miscellany, indeed—but not at all random. These fragments, letters, and chronologies, drawn from trunks, biscuit tins, and a rather vulgar monogrammed hatbox discovered at my uncle’s funeral, form the surviving tissue of a once-respectable body.

Lest you think this is some fusty genealogy padded by sentimental recollections of “dear Mama”, I assure you: my interest lies not in worship but in dissection. Each item here—from the eighth-century confession of a monk whose piety was contagious in every sense, to the memoranda of a great-great-grandfather who managed to own three continents and not a conscience—offers its own species of moral entertainment.

Do not expect me to tidy history into something polite. I shall not pretend that our family’s adventures—from medieval martyrdom to colonial mischief, from genteel scandal to corporate ignominy—form a moral parabola. They are, taken together, merely evidence of human persistence under the influence of wine, power, and hope. That, I think, is legacy enough.

Custodian of the Archive, Viscountess Viola Vorpel, 1991

First Collection—Notable Biographies

Lives Recorded by Those Who Knew Them Truly

These accounts were commissioned not for posterity in the public sense, but to ensure that the family itself would never mistake myth for character. Several subjects here were persons of considerable public renown; the versions found in this archive differ materially from those published in their lifetimes—or suppressed after their deaths.

Members are asked to treat contradictions between these documents and external sources with discretion. We do not correct outsiders. We simply know better.

—On the Conduct of Private Memory, A Note from the Third Curator, 1882

Second Collection—Philosophy

The second collection moves from the record of lives to the record of thought — from what the Mallards did to what they believed, or attempted to believe, or believed it useful to pretend to believe.

Private Treatises on Duty, Power, and the Uses of Both

It is a long-standing Mallard habit to think in writing. Most of these treatises began as letters—to solicitors, to clergy, to children about to inherit something difficult—and were later recognised as documents of lasting use to the family. None were composed for publication.

Several bear the influence of Continental thought absorbed during the family's periods of necessary exile. Others are purely domestic in their concerns—the management of rank, the obligations of old money to new politics, the question of when a principle becomes an affectation. The house has always preferred its philosophy practical.

—From the Curator's Introduction to the Philosophical Papers, 1935

Third Collection—Fables

Cautionary, Consolatory, and Otherwise

The third collection abandons the direct voice. The Mallards have always used animals to say what they could not—or would not—say plainly. The fables should be read as such.

The fable tradition in the family stretches back at least to the early tenth century bce, when the practice of writing allegorical stories for the education of heirs became, in the Mallard household, something rather more pointed than education. These texts were written by parents for children, by siblings for siblings, and in two cases by the family's legal counsel—who understood the genre's utility.

The morals, where they exist, are Mallard morals: they tend toward the pragmatic, occasionally toward the ruthless, and in the finest examples toward a wisdom that is neither comfortable nor easily dismissed. They are not to be shared with children outside the family.

—Introductory Note, Fable Collection, revised 1947

Fourth Collection—Evidence

Evidence supporting the Mallard family archives

These volumes are presented as a repository of documents, organised by a system that intentionally distorts chronology and meaning, reflecting the true nature of archival research.

Arthur Frederick Blandy’s monograph examines the authenticity and significance of The Mallard Papers, a collection of documents spanning centuries and continents. Blandy argues for their authenticity through genealogical analysis, demonstrating their internal coherence, transatlantic provenance, and historical relevance. He refutes critics who dismiss the papers as fiction, highlighting the Mallard family’s well-documented eccentricities and intellectual pursuits.

—Arthur Frederick Blandy, D.Phil. (Syd.), sometime Fellow in Genealogical Studies

The Ducal House of Mallard · Est. 543

“Memoria Obligat”—Memory Obliges

This archive is maintained for the exclusive use of members of the Fitzartur, Mallard, deCanard dynasty and their designated representatives. Access by any other person is considered a breach of the family compact. Documents are provided without warranty of comfort. You are family. You can manage it.