1934: The Mallard Catechism
(as compiled)
Q. What is the first rule of conduct?
A. Don’t explain. (Raise the eyebrow, lightly. Stillness carries more weight than speech.)
Q. And the second?
A. Never complain. (Tilt the head back a fraction, as if listening to a finer music. Pain is for the lesser mortal.)
Q. How does one behave in society?
A. Argue only in private. Or not at all. (Let the eyes drift just past the interlocutor’s head. A conversation with the air is higher than one with a person.)
Q. What of commerce?
A. Commerce is unclean, unless it be land, ships or art. (Fold the hands at rest. Appear above transaction: the Blandys will carry the coin.)
Q. What of fashion?
A. Fashion is for others. We are the thing itself. (The posture is the costume; the silence, the jewel.)
Q. And servants?
A. Servants are not people. They are Blandys. (Never a glance downward: only the smallest flick of acknowledgement, like one notices draughts or shadows.)
Q. What then, when in doubt?
A. Baffle them. (Stand perfectly still. Allow the room to pivot towards you. Confusion is authority; silence, command.)
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