1851: Mallard House
To Her Most Gracious Majesty, Queen Victoria
Madam,
It is with deep reluctance—and no common sorrow—that I find myself compelled to address Your Majesty on a subject which touches not only the honour of my house, but by consequence the delicate web of that ancient compact which has for centuries bound the nobility of England to the Crown.
I allude, of course, to the proposal, now circulating through official channels, that the ancient and hereditary dignity of Keeper of the Royal Duck-Ponds and Overseer of the Marshes—a charge conferred upon my ancestor by William the Conqueror himself upon the eve of his landing—should at last be suppressed as “obsolete,” and, as rumour has most injuriously expressed it, “a title more fit for a nursery rhyme than for a modern Treasury.”
Permit me to observe, Madam, that what the ignorant deride, the informed preserve. The office, though ceremonial these many years, stands as a living echo of the very act of conquest that gave birth to the English monarchy as presently constituted. To erase it is not to economise; it is to repudiate the soil from which Your Majesty’s own sceptre first took root. If my family is to be divested of so venerable a dignity, let it be known that England herself surrenders, by the same act, another of those subtle ligatures by which loyalty is instinctively maintained.
I do not doubt that Your Majesty’s advisers, with their restless appetite for reform, have whispered that my protest springs from private interest. Indeed, it would be disingenuous to pretend otherwise: for though the Keepership carries with it but modest emolument, it is bound up with our name as inseparably as the drake upon our escutcheon. Should Your Majesty find herself unable to resist their counsel, I must then entreat that some alternative and less visible arrangement be devised. A private accommodation of a fiduciary nature—one that would discreetly preserve my household’s independence—might soften what would otherwise be a grievous and public insult.
I cannot forbear remarking, Madam, that this sudden zeal to prune ancient offices gives an impression of constraint—of certain obligations pressing upon the Crown. One cannot help but conjecture that Your Majesty’s freedom of action is less absolute than is generally supposed. I do not, of course, presume to inquire into such matters, yet I may be forgiven for hinting that loyalty, like charity, is most readily reciprocated when confidence is mutual. Should future exigencies arise in which Your Majesty deems my influence or cooperation desirable, you may find my zeal somewhat governed by recollection of the present affront.
Nevertheless, I remain, in spirit if not in enthusiasm,
Your Majesty’s most humble and obedient servant,
Mallard
Duke of Mallard, Keeper of the Royal Duck-Ponds and Overseer of the Marshes (until instructed otherwise)
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